Pithy instructions for the application of the perfect Bodhisattva Mustache

INTRO
Homage to the buddhas in ten directions.
Homage to the dharma in ten directions. 
Homage to the sangha in ten directions.

Buddha Nature penetrates the whole universe through the tendrils of the Dharma-stache.
In application of the sacred wax we twirl merit to benefit
all sentient beings, cowfolk and Hawaiian private investigators
The all pervading and everlasting handlebars reach out to
envelope the great deeds of all Arhats and Bodhisattvas,

All staches’, realized and unrealized, are connected throughout the Dharma worlds
May our sincere twirl accomplish the Buddha Way.

THE LESSON
The absolute light, manifested, will guide your brush through your Dharma-stache. Heat from your luminous heart, radiating throughout the universe, will warm a portion of wax between your fingers.

With metta to all living beings, gently rub between the thumb and forefingers until soft. Stop, let the subtle glow of unfathomable excellence penetrate deep into your heart-mind. Start in the center of your moustache and evenly rub in wax all the way out to the ends.

Chant… (3X)

Kanzeon na mu butsu
yo butsu u en
yo butsu u en bup po
so en jo raku ga jo cho nen
kanzeon bo nen
kanzeon nen nen ju shin
ki nen nen fu ri shin.

Whenever this devoted invocation is sent forth the 1000 arms of Kanzeon will appear in branches of your Dharma-stache. Allow each stroke to reach out throughout the ten directions and liberate all suffering beings and tickle any wandering hungry ghosts.

Gather great joy and twist the ends as tight as they will go.
Twist to dispell the darkness of ignorance.
Curl the ends. Curl with no fear.
Like a brush-stroke on a canvas or a note from the bamboo flute of shunyata – Don’t think!

Curl with such dedication as to shake the Sixteen Guardians and all protectors of the Dharma.
Curl, you beautiful bastard, CURL!

Hold the curl and pinch for 10 breaths.

Sit in zazen for ten minutes and manifest how much Fudo is jealous of that gorgeous curl.

Calm and silent, A Bodhisattva will brush out your dharma-stache and reshape desired curl through your fingers.

Once for the Buddha
Once for the Dharma
Once for the Sangha

There you go…the All-Permeating Dharma-stache.

THE CAPPING VERSE
Dharma-stache deep and penetrating.
   hides your joy and hate
but radiates bodhicitta
   to hungry ghosts in winter.

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