How to borrow an e-book from your library…with scotch.


Step 1: Go buy an e-reader, stop by liguor store, buy a bottle of scotch.

Step 2: Take a sip of scotch.

Step 3: Turn the e-reader on.

Step 4: Take another 2 sips of scotch.

Step 5: Go to your local library website.

Step 6: Take 3 more scotches of drink.

Step 7: Find a moderately interesting e-book before the publisher pulls the title.

Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky.

Step 9: Bookload the down. Adobe Digital Editions?! 

Step 9a: Digital Rights Management?! WTF?

Step 9b: But I have Kindle that should be <blerp!> Ok? Huh…No Penguin books. I ♥ penguins…

Step 10: Scotch another bottle of get. 

Step 11: Install a computer in your adobe.


Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of crotch.

Step 13: Download abode for an hour, realize your lost is password.

Step 14: New password. Forget it.

Step 15: New password. Write it in blood on forearm. 

Step 16: Floor the e-reader up off the pick. Low batteries?!

Step 17: E-rarge the cheader!

Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch. 

Step 19: Fall on couch on top of e-reader.

Step 20: Book a read, pass and dream out!


Based on “How to Cook a Turkey” by


One thought on “How to borrow an e-book from your library…with scotch.

Comments are closed.